Member-only story
5 Times I’ve Experienced «Nice Racism»

So to start, I’d like to define what nice racism is. It’s when someone is racist but they do it with a smile or say something flattering that you can’t actually get mad at them. It’s a form of racism that’s insidious because you take it with a smile on your face, but its poison makes its way to your heart. Here are five situations where I’ve experienced it.
- “Your braids look really beautiful. Do you ever wash your hair?” So as you can see here, first, there’s a nice compliment, it sounds and feels good, doesn’t it? And then there’s a wack behind it. What is being implied is that you might not be washing your hair – in other words, you lack basic hygiene. That’s a loaded assumption, and it stings like good ole racism does.
- Another act of nice racism is when someone says «You must sing well, you’re Black». It may sound nice but this comment lays on a bedrock of racism. Because someone who thinks all Black people sing well is also someone whose thought patterns involve stereotypes. That same person would also believe dangerous stereotypes, i.e. all Black men are drug dealers.
- “Oh that bright color suits your dark skin, but seeing you gives me a headache”. Here again, a nice compliment followed by another wack. You can’t possibly react negatively to that comment because you’ll be accused of being aggressive.
- “You have beautiful skin but isn’t it too thick”? Yes, believe it or not, people say this. There are even times when people say it’s harder to do a tattoo on Black skin because it’s too thick. So again here, this is another form of nice racism. And just in case, Black skin is no thicker than white skin.
- “You are very articulate for a Black person”. So here again, the first part of the sentence sounds like a compliment but the second part isn’t. It basically says that Black people aren’t usually articulate, and there is something seriously wrong and racist about that.
So there, those are a few examples of nice racism. People feel that because they’ve said something nice, they can’t possibly be racists. The reality is that they are.
Nice racism and racism are one and the same, they hurt. Don’t pay someone a compliment veiled in racism. Think before you speak. Can what you’re saying be hurtful? Give it some thought and think, if someone said that to you, how would it make me feel? If you feel ok, chances are you’re on the right path.
Thank you for reading my perspective.